How Can I Encourage My Elderly Parent to Use a Medical Alert Device?

If you have an elderly parent, you've probably had some sleepless nights over them living alone. Even if your parent is still active and independent, you worry about them being unable to call for help in an emergency situation. Falls are the leading cause of injury for adults 65 years and older.

Medical alert devices quickly connect seniors to emergency services if they fall or need help. They can be lifechanging, but many older adults hesitate to use them. In this post, Medical Care Alert discusses how to encourage your elderly parent to use a medical alert device.

Why Do Seniors Resist Medical Alert Devices?

Elderly adults resist using medical alert devices due to emotional and practical barriers. They might be concerned about the:

• Technology: Many seniors are unfamiliar with new technology and may be reluctant to try. They may not realize that modern medical alert devices are easier to use than other technology.
• Stigma: Your parent might be worried about appearing frail or dependent if they use or wear a medical alert device. Choosing to do so may feel like accepting a perceived weakness. 
• Cost: Some older adults on fixed incomes worry about the cost of a device and whether they can afford it.
• Appearance: Your parent might be picturing a certain type of medical alert device in their mind. Many older options were bulky and unattractive. They might not know that these devices come in many different types and styles now. Some are even fashionable accessories that blend seamlessly with the wearer's wardrobe.
• Usage: If your parent has never had a medical emergency, they might believe they will not get any value out of an alert device. They may also worry about remembering to use it if they have memory challenges.

The Benefits of Medical Alert Devices for Elderly Parents and Their Families 

If your parent falls or has a health emergency, medical alert devices let them call for help without needing to reach a phone. This helps them get help quicker, which may reduce the chance of complications. Other benefits include:

• Increased independence and confidence: Medical alert devices provide a sense of freedom. Your parent can continue their daily activities with confidence and less assistance from other people. It may help them age in place longer. 
• Peace of mind for families: These devices reassure the family that your parent can easily call for help if they need it. Some devices are even setup to notify a list of emergency contacts if an event occurs. Systems with 24/7 monitoring offer additional peace of mind.
• Convenient features: Some modern devices offer easy-to-use features like two-way communication, GPS tracking and health monitoring.

Strategies to Encourage Use 

Encouraging your elderly parent to use a medical alert device takes patience and understanding. These strategies may help them warm up to the idea.

1. Start the Conversation With Your Parent 

Starting a conversation about using a medical alert device may be a sensitive topic, especially if your parent is independent in other areas of their life. Planning your approach can help you have a more respectful and productive discussion. 

Start by choosing a calm and private setting where you can talk freely for as long as you need to. Share your worries about their safety and explain how a medical alert system can provide peace of mind for both of you. Frame it as a gift they can give you by emphasizing your concern for their well-being. Use positive language to show how the device can help them age in place longer and maintain independence.

Ask open-ended questions to understand their concerns, and show empathy and respect for their opinions. Address each issue without being pushy. Suggest trying a device for a few months to see how it fits into their lifestyle. If they remain resistant, give them time and revisit the conversation later with new information or solutions.

2. Overcome Common Barriers 

You'll likely have to overcome several of your parent's objections about using medical alert devices. Here are some example responses that may help break through common barriers:

• I don't like how they look: I understand that appearance is important. There are modern designs that look like stylish jewelry or can be worn discreetly under clothing. Let's look at some options together.”
• I'll get it when I need it: I know it might not seem urgent now, but having it in place can help prevent serious consequences if something unexpected happens. It's like having an insurance policy for your safety.
• It's too expensive: I understand that cost is a concern. There are affordable options, and we can explore coverage or assistance programs to help. It's a small price compared to potential medical expenses from a fall.
• I don't want an ambulance to show up all the time: The system is flexible and can be set up to meet your preferences. A trained EMT-certified agent will call first to check if you're OK before they dispatch an ambulance.
• What if they can't hear me when I press the button?: If they don't hear your voice, they'll call your phone. If there's still no response, an agent will dispatch help, so you'll always get assistance when needed.
• It's too much of a hassle to move: Modern systems are compact and travel-friendly. Many are small enough to take with you when you go out.
• I want to shop around: Shopping around is a good idea. Let's set a time to review some options together and make sure we find the best fit for your needs.
• It's for old people: Many active seniors use these devices to maintain their independence. It's about being proactive and ensuring you can continue doing the things you love safely.

3. Involve Your Parent in the Decision 

Including your parent in the decision-making process lets them maintain a sense of control over their own lives. This may make them more likely to accept and use the device willingly. It could also alleviate their fears or misconceptions. Making the choice together can foster trust and strengthen your relationship. It shows you value their input and are committed to finding the best solution together. 

4. Make the Device Comfortable and Part of Daily Routine 

Making sure the device is comfortable to wear or easy to use will encourage your parent to make it part of their daily routine. Have them try on the device to ensure it fits well and doesn't cause irritation. Adjust straps or settings as needed to maximize comfort. Make sure they understand and feel confident in how to use it. You can even practice using it together.

It takes time for anyone to form a new habit. These tips may help:

• Stack it with other habits: Encourage them to put on the device at the same time as other daily activities, like getting dressed or putting on a watch.
• Set reminders: Use reminders or alarms to help your parent remember to wear the device. Some devices have built-in reminders for charging or wearing.
• Check in regularly: Periodically check in with them to ensure the device is still comfortable and that they are using it consistently. Address any issues promptly to maintain their comfort and confidence.

5. Ask Family for Support and Ongoing Encouragement 

If convincing your parent to use a medical alert device is more challenging than you expected, it may help to involve other family members. Here's why:

• It reinforces the benefits: Consistent encouragement from family reinforces the importance of using the device. Your parent may be more likely to adopt it as part of their routine if they get the message from more than one source.
• It becomes a shared responsibility: Involving the family lets everyone contribute toward keeping your senior parent safe. It reduces the burden on any one person and fosters a sense of collective care. Regular check-ins from family can also help your parent remember to wear and maintain the device.
• They can offer emotional support: Knowing that the family is united in their concern and support can provide emotional comfort to your parent.
• It builds trust: A supportive family environment builds trust and can help your parent feel more secure in their decision to use the device.

How Do I Choose the Right Medical Alert Device?

There are many different types of medical alert devices. To choose the right option for your parent, consider their lifestyle, preferences and specific needs. Consider these factors: 

• Device type: Some devices are designed for at-home use, while others are wearable for on-the-go support. Depending on their situation, your parent may benefit from one or both.
• Style and comfort: Wearable medical alert devices come in various options, including pendants and smart watches. Choose one that is lightweight and designed for comfort. 
• Helpful features: Many devices come with additional safety features. Two-way communication devices let your parent speak directly with trained agents. Devices with movement sensors provide an extra layer of safety by automatically alerting responders if a fall is detected. For those who travel or are at risk of wandering, GPS-enabled devices can pinpoint their location in an emergency.
• Monitoring and support: Some devices offer 24/7 monitoring by EMT or EMD-certified agents. Consider if you want a system that will send text messages or similar to alert family members or caregivers of an emergency.
• Return policy: Some providers offer a return policy that lets the user test the device and return it if it's not for them.

How Do You Deal With Aging Parents Who Refuse Help?

If your efforts have been unsuccessful, these tips may help:

Try to Pinpoint Why

Your parents' refusal to accept help probably has very little to do with the device itself. Be patient and open-minded about their perspective to figure out what they're truly resisting. For some, using a medical alert device may feel like accepting their old age or admitting frailty. Some might worry that, by agreeing to use this device, they are agreeing to give up the rest of their independence and right to make their own choices regarding their health.

If you've tried discussing their worries and they keep shutting the conversation down, try a different approach. Ask them what they need from you, in their own words, so you can meet them where they are.

Look at Their Social Circle

Talk to the people in their social circle — friends, neighbors, loved ones — and ask those who already use a medical alert device to start a conversation with your parent. Hearing it from someone they consider a peer could be more convincing than from their own child.

Start With Small Changes

If your parent isn't ready to use a medical alert device just yet, there are a few smaller steps you can take to help them stay safe and become more open to accepting help:

• Work together to identify home improvements or upgrades that could simplify their routine, such as installing grab bars in the bathroom, carpeting the stairs or adding outdoor lighting.
• Download grocery delivery apps on their phone or tablet and show them how to place orders.
• Offer to take over one task for them each week, whether that's running an errand or taking the garbage out.
• Consider installing a landline phone in their home if they aren't comfortable using newer devices.
• Print and laminate a sheet of emergency contact information and hang a copy in each room of the house.
• Ask your parent's neighbor or friend to check in with them periodically.
• Talk to your parent about having a caregiver or aide visit the home for just an hour or two each week to help with medication or cleaning.

Bring Their Doctor Into the Conversation

Your parent's doctor could be your greatest ally during this process. If your parent still arranges and attends appointments on their own, ask if you can start coming along. Stress that you aren't interested in talking around or for them. You simply want to take a more active role in their well-being because you care. 

This gives you a good opportunity to gauge what your parent may or may not be sharing with their medical team and lets you voice your own concerns if necessary. While doctors can't legally discuss your parent's health with you without certain permissions, they can still listen to what you have to say.

Be sure to ask your parent if they are OK with you bringing the topic up before the appointment. Offer to leave the room if they want to discuss the matter privately with their provider. 

Respect Their Wishes

If your parent is otherwise capable of caring for themselves and seeking help in an emergency, consider pausing the conversation for now. You may do more harm than good if you continue to push. When it's time to reapproach topic in the future, they may be more receptive because you demonstrated your trust in them and respected their agency when it mattered most.

Know When It's Time to Step In 

While respecting your parent's boundaries is essential for helping them retain their independence, there may come a time when you have to step in to keep them safe. If their memory has declined or they've become imbalanced and more prone to accidents, it may be time to discuss a plan of action with the rest of your family. 

Help Your Parent Stay Safe and Independent

A medical alert device is specifically designed to enhance a senior's safety and independence. It gives your parent a direct line to emergency services in the event of a fall or other medical situation. By focusing on the device's ability to offer peace of mind, quick emergency response and a sense of security, you can help your parent see the value in using or wearing one.